OH GUILLOTINES!

Creates Dystopias Part II

It's crappy. But I want you to think I intentionally made it crappy. Photographic style, yo. Hahaha.

My scanner's not working and all I got is a phonecam.



Yay m hair is growing long. It's beginning to sweep the shoulders. Soon I'll have it dyed red. Or sandy brown. Maybe light brown, to look soft and girly (then I can dress as boyish as i like).

I now fixed my bioclock.

First few days I was zombieing and fatigued during daytime.

Now I wake up at 5am, get tired at 10pm. That's how well I adjusted.

One problem fixed! Off to being so fucking balanced, improved, and so happy it makes I guess it makes me uncool. Ha, take that. So bloody zen I can levitate. Yehey.


Next thing you know, I'll be married and expecting the sixth baby. Gods, hahah.



There's someone in lj who keeps trying to add me only to delete the journal and add me again in a different name. It's been like ten times?


PS: MAINLAND CHINESE LADIES SCARE ME. Hell yes they do. This coming from a Chinese.

Wisp and Waft
go here

Limbs and Fingers


Clockwork Clockwork


Yes, I blog more in multiply now.

Hey, Roxanne
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I am a Soldier
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Taste This Heart
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Duplicate State



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Old hair:



It's now violet.
Deep violet then washed down to purple. :)
Bleeding cranberry in the shower.

OK, styling gawth, plus glam, minus costumyness.



PART 01



- suspender bustier
- black drape wrap
- gray drape front cardigan
- pinstriped pants
- suede jeweled heel ankle boots
- heart necklace
- lots of chunky rings
- deep red nailpolish


PART 02



- wrap tie front jacket
- blood red rose corsage worn as chocker
- deep red nail polish
- those chunky rings again
- racerback tank top
- corset belt
- cigarette leg jeans (death to skinny and flared, me no likey)
- biker boots!!



I like it simple and versatile. Hope there's not too much going on.

Here's what I did to my hair:

( clicky )
I look constipated.

Bleached twice and now it's orangey.
One more bleaching left, but I have to wait else I fry it.
When it gets lighter, I'll dye it.

Hope it turns out well.

Sorry, Stace. I'm too impatient.

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Photoshop's Blur Tool makes life both easy and hard. My skin still hasn't grown out of adolescent awkwardness.
DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMERS! HAHA

I hate it when...
Oh, I forget what to write.
I hate it too when I forget what to write.

But look here! I stumbled upon an amazing artist by the username kolaboy. I can't believe it's DevianTart, where crap resides, most of the time. But this guy's exception. Shit, he's amazing.







Damn.

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Been getting more inspired and motivated lately. Been told my drawings remind them of Peter Chung/Amano. FLAAAAAAAAATERRYYYY! BWAHAHAHAHA!

I'm surrounded by drunk people last weekend. On Sunday it was different because it's an all-boys group but they're a real sweet bunch. With karaoke, real bad but absolutely hilarious karaoke.

I'm hungry but there's no food.

I'm tired 80% of the time. Dunno why. Dammit, I'm out of energy drink. Even mg lungs are too lazy to expand. I want to lie down. For no reason, my body hurts. My joints ache like a fever but I know it's not fever. Gahh.

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I'm really glad things are getting better. At least it does, right?

Three of those problems is that my stepmum's bullying me, my first love who is an undoubtedly good person died, and my unassuming best friend turned out to be a user.

But things get better.

First prob I can stay away from. I just avoid that pitbull at all costs. I'm not hanging at the resto as much anymore. I'll buy my own food even if it's crappy instant shit.

Second is solved and things turned out well. It brought people together. It made us tougher. I made new friends. Slowly, my outlook changed. It's like I got a new life so to speak. :p I don't believe in heaven or hell, but WWRJD?

Third, well...
My pride's blown to pieces. I'm a proud bitch. If he wants game, let me know and I'll play along. And win it.
But his existence and memory is fading. I chose to break contact, never confront him again or acknowledge his existence.
I've learned I'm not the only one he treated this way and that among others, I somehow intimidated him by being individual and independent. If that scared him, he's not worth it.
Still, I wasted a lot of time and forgot everyone else, like folks in my old school.
He will never be liked through and through. Anyone who does is an idiot perpetually in-denial. No wonder I see him alone all the time, but I have no room to feel sorry or angry. He's not really worth any of that now.

I'm slowly becoming more confident. Believing in meself a wee bit more.
I hope the good days are consistent this time. I'm still working on myself and at the pits of depressing times have failed to see how far I've come. I can't imagine I'd turn out this well in just a year or two.

***

They want an Endless shoot. A friend quickly voted me to play Desire. Yes, the tall girl gets it again.
But I'm for it since playing Death's a bit too easy and I don't have to smile that much being Desire.

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Hahh, shit, I have to lie down...

I'm 100% considering a trim that will turn it into a bob cut. I'll have the nape snipped and buzzed.

I have a round-shaped face that is bordering on square, dense and thick hair. I have a thing for flapper girls.

Question: Should I have my bangs cut straight across? Or layer/shred it?
Above or below eyebrows? Part straight part butchered?

Soon it'll be part-blonde (if it goes well). Then the blonde parts will be violet. :) Won't let it look too clean and combed. I haven't combed in ages and it looks better that way. I scrunch it with wax.

Tell me what you think. Stop lurking. You can text meee, because by the time I check the internet I might've gotten it cut already. :D

Glad it grows pretty fast. When's the last time you saw me?
I'm letting it grow. Happy? xD

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PS: Help with lipstick. I do not know how to use that because I don't have a definite lip line.

Everything comes in patterns.
Cons: inevitable predictability.
Pros: inevitable predictability.

"Not the end of the world" is the understatement of the century.
Yes, keep breathing. Because the good does arrive, even for a while.

Now, the first and possibly the most important thing I can list in my self-improvement to-do list is COURAGE.

She's Like a Rainbow by ~z e h n t e s on deviantART

Pretty Roxanne.


Anaglyph Fun 001 by ~z  e h n t e s on deviantART

(yes, i made a 3D image!)


Halo's Ingenue by ~z e h n t e s on deviantART

:)

Camera leather!

Look at these! They could make any camera look more valuable than it already is, or recover old worn camera bodies. Sooo fancy.















http://www.cameraleather.com/

Renan just left us.

This is so wrong. He does not deserve this at all.

I can only picture him growing old accomplished and loved by everyone. He already is loved by everyone.

I made one pencil drawing made of two papers and two more pencil doodles. I feel accomplished for a while. I hate Thursdays. But I've been going to class on time again, and participating a bit more.

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A friend got into ICU just yesterday. I'm still shocked when I was told that today.

I've been meaning to speak to him again but have been putting it off. I mean, it's been a while. We're completely different people now and I don't know how to start.

But there I was, wishing I were dead and doing silly things. I can't believe it!

That does not deserve to happen to him. Not one bit!
I'm really worried. He's still unconscious.